November 2010


America loves a comeback. We’re the nation that forgives but never forgets. None of us have forgotten that once upon a time, Lindsay Lohan was one of the most fuckable 17-year-old babes on the planet. She had an amazing body, a killer (likely fake) rack and was actually a decent actress.

Then she started partying and fucking a lot, both of which are admirable traits. Then the drugs came in and a relationship with some dude named Sam. That’s when it all came crashing down.

Lindsay has been in and out of rehab ever since and her career is in shambles. But as the picture below shows, she still has a dynamite ass. In my book, that counts for something and could be the place where we begin to reconstruct her once promising career.

If nothing else, it’s at least given me something to make me cum today. And that’s a good thing indeed. Welcome back, Lindsay. You’re not all the way home but there might be some hope left for you after all.

Poor Taylor Momsen. She has money, looks and a job on a hit TV show. Life is so amazingly difficult. What is a poor girl to do when she is saddled with this much misfortune?

Show off her tits, that’s what.

You see, Taylor has a master plan. It involves putting out shitty music, acting like such a total bitch she gets fired from her TV show and realizing the only gift(s) she has are a gorgeous pair of jugs. So why not show them off – especially since there are few things hotter than a 17-year-old slut with great tits who wants you to see how fantastic her rack is.

The good news is Taylor continues to provide us with what we need. The bad news is it won’t be long before we’ve forgotten all about her and turned our attention to the next teenage slut who loves to be fucked. Fortunately, we’ll always have these pictures of when Taylor was smokin, showing off her tits and fucking everything that moved.

Enjoy your 15 minutes, Taylor. The clock is tickin.

I’ve long had a thing for sexy black chicks. There’s just something about a really hot black girl that gets my motor running. Put a hot black chick next to a hot which chick and nine times out of 10 I’m probably going to want to fuck the hot black chick.

Rihanna is a hot black chick. I want to fuck her. I do not know how much clearer I can be about this. So why must she torment me so? Let’s give in to our desires and fuck, Rihanna. You wanna.

And her fantastic tits are still getting me hard.

That, my friends, is the Win-Win scenario.

I hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving. I’m thankful for many things, not the least of which are hot pieces of ass who I would love to fuck.

Jennifer Aniston is one of those hot pieces of ass.

Personally, I think she’s bat-ass nuts. It’s the only explanation for why she keeps getting passed around and dumped by all of Hollywood. Of course, her problem is she keeps going after celebrities instead of regular Joe’s like myself who would treat her right, fuck her as much as she wanted and treat her like a queen.

But why have that when you get dumped all the time, right Jen?

Anyway, here’s Jen and her gorgeous body looking extremely fuckable in a black bikini. I love her.

I miss her on “Dexter.”

 

In a world of pain, upheaval and torment a shining light has been cast upon it. Miley Cyrus is now 18.

REJOICE.

REJOICE.

Now everyone around the world can fuck Miley legally and without threat of prosecution. Of course, plenty have likely already had their shot but those lucky fuckers have simply been ahead of the curve. Now everyone can partake in the glory that is fuckin Miley Cyrus.

Here’s Miley pictured at her 18th birthday party dressed like a slut who’s looking to fuck. God Bless you, Miley. You’re making all of my masturbatory fantasies come true. Now come over and let’s fuck.

Legally this time.

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