I’m Conflicted

This has been an exciting week here at the Undercover blog. My page views have been through the roof and I’ve been setting site records on a daily basis. That should be great news, right?

Well it’s not.

I’m conflicted.

Why you ask?

Simple. The big attraction on my blog has been pictures of Kourtney Kardashian. People are coming here in droves to see the pics of this hot piece of ass. Again, that should be a good thing, right?

Well, here’s where I’m conflicted. I just read that Kourtney is pregnant. Again, that should be a good thing, right? Maybe for Kourtney it is. But what about me? Now I’m posting pictures of a chick who’s been soiled by the semen of some strange dude.

How hot is that?

The truth is, it’s not hot. And now Kourtney’s not really hot either. Maybe I’m just old fashioned, but when I post pictures of hot babes and pronounce my feelings of lust and desire for them, I want them to remain true to me. Is that really so much to ask?

I can’t really post pictures of Kourtney anymore. It just feels … icky. So what shall I do now? Hmmm. I know.

Stay tuned.

 

Online Dating

I think putting up limitations in our life is short-sighted. Why only allow yourself access to a part of what life has to offer? That has never made any sense to me. By doing that, you’re closing yourself off to the possibility that something, or someone, could be out there who could make your life better.

Women tend to this in relationships. They narrow their choices down to a certain type of man, a certain age range, even by height. All the while they bitch and moan about how there aren’t any “good men” out there to date.

Gee, I wonder why.

All of this brings me in a weird non-linear way to my thoughts about online dating. I know many people who have tried online dating. I see no reason to look down upon it in disdain. As I mentioned before, why close yourself off to a possibility? That’s ignorant in my opinion.

Anyway, I know people who have tried online dating. I know people who’ve met their husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends online and rave about it. I know others who have found it to be a waste of their time.

I fall in the latter group.

The reason why I’ve found it to be a waste of time is because I think most women aren’t there for the right reasons. They aren’t there to find someone to meet. They’re there to find out, in essence, how popular they are.

Think about it – even the most unattractive woman by virture of her very gender can get laid. They can walk into just about any room, find a guy, tell them they’d like to have sex and they will have sex by the end of the day. It may take all day, but at some point during that day they will have sex.

It’s how the process works.

Anyway, with online dating, I get the impression many women there aren’t really there to meet a guy they might like to see, much less fall in love with. I get the impression they go to these places for an ego boost. They want to see how many messages they get, how many times their profiles get viewed and who wants to add them as friends (assuming they’re on My Space). I don’t get a sense that many, be sure to note I’m not saying all, women aren’t there for the same reasons many men are.

To genuinely meet someone.

Meeting someone isn’t that hard if you’re willing to open yourself up to new possibilities. That means not having some preconceived idea of who it is you want to meet. How old they should be. How tall they should be. What color hair they have. That’s not to say attractiveness isn’t important. We all want to be attracted to the person we’re with. But if you box yourself in to a preconceived idea of who you should be with, then it’s very possible the person who’s actually good for you or right for you is going to end up with someone else.

And if that happens, don’t bitch about the fact there aren’t any “good men” out there. The problem, my dear, is with you.

 

Acceptance

We live in a strange country. We live in a country which pushes the idea of sex in our faces 24/7. That has become commonplace. You see it on your billboards. You see it on the Internet. You see it on TV and in movies. Sex is everywhere. We are a sexual culture.

And yet, when sexual ideas are often expressed people are repelled.

Allow me to provide an example.

I’m a sexual person. I do not attempt to hide this and anyone who has read this blog for any length of time has likely figured that out by now. So anyway, I like sex. I love women. I love having sex with women. I love everything about having sex with women and I like doing all sorts of sexual things with women. I make no apologies for any of this nor should I.

So when I see a girl I’m attracted to, my thoughts tend to run toward what it would be like to fuck her. If I see a girl in a nice pair of jeans, I think about what it would be like to see that ass and better yet, touch it, kiss it and hopefully fuck it if she was into that. Same with a gorgeous set of tits. Or a sweet pair of legs. And on and on and on.

Women shouldn’t pretend as if they don’t know this is going on either. If a woman is going to walk around with her tits hanging out, chances are it’s because she likes them and she wants people to notice them. Well guess what Mary Sunshine, I’m noticing them. So if I comment on them, I’m not being rude. I’m not being a pig. I’m not being sexist.

I’m doing what men do. More importantly, I’m doing what women want men to do.

Notice them.

Want them.

Desire them.

If you disagree, you’re lying. Not only to me, but to yourself.

There isn’t a person alive who doesn’t want acceptance. I’m not saying every person has the sexual desire that I have. We’re all different. But ultimately, we all want that intimate connection with someone else. It’s what drives us. Even if it’s just for a fleeting moment in time, it’s part of what gives our lives meaning. We are not meant to live alone. We are meant to be with others. Maybe we’re not all meant to be with just one person. But this life is about making connections. Part of that is sexual connection. If you assume otherwise you’re lying. Not only to me, but to yourself.

One of the things I like about the girl I’ve been going out with for awhile is she’s accepting of who I am. She knows about this blog, reads it, laughs and often times agrees with me. Trust me, she’d like to do things to Hilary Duff I haven’t even thought of yet.

And I’ve got one hell of an imagination.

Anyway, this relationship may not last. It may not be The One. But what I like about her (one of the many things) is she understands who I am and doesn’t pretend as if she’s offended by it. Or actually be offended by it. She understands that when she dresses up to go out with me or friends, there’s a sexual element she’s putting out there if she’s showing some cleavage, or if the pants are nice and snug or the skirt is showing off just enough thigh to get some attention. So she’s not repulsed or doesn’t act like she’s repulsed when the sexual element is met with a response. She’s smart enough and, more importantly, honest enough to understand that she can’t put something out there and then act as if men (or women) shouldn’t respond to the sexual vibe she’s setting off.

This is honesty.

Consider this a message to all women out there. I love you all but some of you need to understand that if you are going to present something to us, do not be insulted when we respond to it. If you show off your tits, then we’re not a pig if we tell you that you have nice tits. If you’re wearing tight jeans, it’s obvious you want us to notice your ass. So don’t call someone rude for telling you that your ass is fine because it’s obviously what you want to hear.

If you want to be a prude, go live with the Amish.

If you want to be an adult, then understand every action causes a reaction.

We’re not pigs for wanting you sexually. This is what life is all about. Understanding that and accepting it is a big part of being an adult.

Or at least the type of adult I’d want to spend any time with.

 

Everyone Wants To Fuck Natalie Portman

First Sean Penn. Now Ryan Gosling. From the Chicago Sun Times:

They’re keeping it very hush-hush, but I understand Natalie Portman is “intrigued” by Ryan Gosling, who has been actively wooing her since the couple met recently at an L.A. nightclub. Gosling has been kind of a regular DJ at the hot Bardot’s nightspot. “Natalie always has been attracted to actors and other men who are intellectuals … and Ryan qualifies,” says a BZ spy who should know. Along with continual “and very poetic” text messages, the star of “The Notebook” reportedly has been sending Portman first editions of books he thinks she’d like.

Hmmm, so Natalie likes “intellectuals.” I think I qualify. I’m not a girly pretty boy like Gosling and I’m not an annoying blowhard like Penn. I’m a man’s man intellectual. The kind who will quote Aristotle one minute while tickling Natalie’s fine ass with my tongue the next.

That’s my kind of intellectualism, Natalie. I’ll be waiting to hear from you.

 

Natalie Portman Gets It On With Sean Penn

According to Star magazine (I know, I know), Natalie Portman and Sean Penn were caught making out the other day. People are in shock because Penn is 48 and Portman is 27. They’re stunned because that’s a 21-year age difference. Frankly, the age difference isn’t the issue here – it’s Portman’s lousy taste in men.

Sure Penn is a talented actor but he comes across as an insufferable asshole. Why anyone would want to spend any time with the guy, much less shove their tongue in his mouth is beyond me.

Women.

As far as the age thing, who gives a shit? We’re far too repressed in this country sexually. Age is just a number. I know plenty of women in their 30s who have about as much maturity as a newborn. What’s important is whether two people connect in whatever way they want to connect – if it’s intellectually, emotionally or sexually or all of the above. Obsessing on the fact one of them is much older than the other reflects issues on the part of the observer, not any between the guy and girl involved with one another.

But seriously Natalie, Sean Penn? You couldn’t do better than Sean Penn? You don’t have to go to such great lengths to get me to notice you. I’m right here baby. Come get me.

 

Exhiliration

There’s something really intoxicating about that new relationship. It’s the freshness and uniqueness of being with someone you’ve never been with before. I’m not just talking about sexually – although that’s a nice part – but finding out new and interesting things that draw this person into your world and you into theirs.

It’s something pretty amazing.

That’s how I’m feeling lately with my new girl. There’s a lot of exploring and learning and it’s all fun. This is the part of the relationship I wish would never end. We spent last Saturday out shopping, going out to dinner, having some drinks and then going back to her place to watch a movie. Nothing grand, but still all kinds of enjoyment were derived from being with someone who I’m getting to know for the first time.

Life is pretty good right now.

 

Weekend Plans

I love it when the week flies by and I have some fun plans for the weekend. Tonight it’s a night out with some friends and tomorrow it’s a night out with my girl. Something tells me tomorrow night is going to be a lot more fun.

I hope everyone has a great weekend planned too.

 

Christina Ricci Is A Midget

I’ve always had a thing for Christina Ricci. She was hot but wasn’t strikingly beautiful. She had a great rack and it’s still pretty fine even though she got it reduced. I think she’s a little too skinny but that’s Hollywood for you. Nobody there likes a girl with curves.

Anyway, I like Christina Ricci. I normally don’t post pictures of guys (or dogs) or boring pictures of hot chicks like this one where Christina Ricci is walking with a guy and a dog. But check out how tiny she is. If she was covered in blue paint and rhyming you’d swear she was an Oompa Loompa. She’s like a miniture human. I wonder if she needs a booster seat when she’s eating at the dinner table.

 

Is It Love Or Lust Or Both?

Things are starting to heat up with my new girlfriend. She just started working at my company about a month or so ago and we’ve been going out for a couple of weeks now. I haven’t posted anything because I didn’t want to jinx it and because we hadn’t fucked yet.

Well, we got to explore one another for the first time this past weekend. All I’ll say is it’s way too soon to call it love, but I’ve got a serious dose of lust.

We both took Monday off from work and made it an extended weekend. And by extended, I mean we spent most of the weekend fucking. Man does this girl like to fuck. That’s one of the things I like best in girls too.

We are a perfect match.

She’s gorgeous, brunette (I’ve always been partial to brunettes) and has a great body. Did I mention she likes to fuck? She turned me on and turned me out all sorts of ways this past weekend. She’s even hinting at doing some girl-girl action in the future.

OK, I think I am in love.

We’ll see where things go from here. But things are off to a great start.

 

I’m Back

Like Britney Spears’ restored hotness in a bikini, I’m back after a brief respite. I thank those of you who were wondering where I was at. I simply needed a little “Alone” time. But now I’m back with a vengence. If you’re missing the old posts I’ve deleted well I miss them too. But life isn’t worth living in the past. It’s all about moving forward.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t like to take a good look … back. So in honor of my return, here are three smoking hot asses. First off, Britney in a bikini. The words “Loving Anal Sex” somehow come to mind when I look at this one. But that only serves to make Rachel Bilson jealous and so I have to respond by saying I would like to savor every sweet inch of her ass with my tongue. Lastly? Well Mena Suvari’s tight round ass deserves all of the above.

It’s good to be home.