Kylie Jenner


I’m surprised Kylie Jenner is showing off her tits in this Instagram pic. That’s so unlike her. She’s usually so … demure.

Yeah that’s what she is.

Demure.

Good one. Sometimes I really crack myself up.

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One of the many things I love about Kylie Jenner is that when she decides to get all dolled up her, idea of getting dressed up is to look like a hooker. Here she is in thigh-high Fuck Me Boots just ready to fuck until the sun goes down and she goes down and cums back up again.

Don’t get me wrong, I love hookers. I really like hookers who fuck for free. I call them sluts.

You can decide how best to label young Kylie.

*EXCLUSIVE* Inside the "Kick'N It For Charity Celebrity Kick Ball Game"

And yes I would enjoy watching you fuck your friend with a strap-on.

It’s so nice of you to ask what I would like. I find that so rare these days. You are a true treasure.

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Well OK, if she insists.

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Oh no you can’t baby. Feed those luscious legs to me. I want to love them.

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I’d say it’s one of the bestest ideas ever.

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Here is Kylie Jenner in a bikini. If this was the 4th of July I’d say she’s making my fireworks go off. Get it? But since it’s July 3 I’ll just say she makes me cum. A lot.

Kendall Jenner’s in a bikini too. Yes she’s hot but Kylie’s the one I really wanna fuck.

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There’s a blind item being reported by BlindGossip.com which says a manager is asking her clients to pretend to be bisexual in order to generate more publicity. The most common guesses so far are the manager is Kris Jenner and the celebrities in question are daughters Kylie and Kendall.

It’s easy to see why everyone assumes it’s Kris Jenner. First off, she’s a money-grubbing whore who will do anything to bring in as much cash as possible. After all, she was the mastermind behind her daughter’s sex tape which concluded with said daughter being pissed on.

I think we can safely assume that wasn’t done in one take, at least not to Kris’ satisfaction.

“No, no, no. Don’t just piss on her. Make sure you cover her face with it. That’s the money shot.”

Anyway, Kris Jenner is a whore and she may now apparently want at least one of her daughters to pretend to fuck other girls. The funny thing is I’m willing to wager a year’s salary that both Kylie and Kendall like fucking other girls for free. Kylie definitely has the bi-vibe all over her. So I can’t imagine this is going to be a hard sell.

The only question I have is will Kylie’s sex tape be one where she’s engaging in a torrid all-girl lesbian orgy. You wanna drum up publicity, mom? THAT’S how you do it. Call me. I have plenty of ideas for a script.

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Here are the Jenner sisters frolicking with some dude today for a photo shoot. I apologize for including the guy in this picture but try to ignore him – or focus on him if that’s your thing; I don’t judge – and take a good look at Kendall’s tight ass and Kylie’s fantastic tits. That’s how I wanna spend my Monday with those tits in my face and that ass on the receiving end of my throbbing cock.

Come get me girls. I am all yours.

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This has to happen. I need it to happen.

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